All the light we cannot see

I've heard a lot about this book.  Mom got me this book as a gift for my performance at a recent marathon.  Really loved the writing. It lived up to its hype.



Some of my favorite quotes from the book.

There is luck, may be bad or goo. A slight inclination of every day towards failure. But no curses - pg 28.

Open your eyes and see what you can with them before the can close forever - pg 48

and then he enthuses about coal :
'Consider a single piece glowing in your family's stove . See it , Children? That chunk of coal was once a green plant , a fern or weed that lived one million years ago , or maybe two million , or a hundred million. Can you image one hundred million years ? Every summer for the whole life of that plant , its leaves caught with light they could and transformed the sun's energy into itself. Into bark, twigs, stems Because plants eat light in  much the way we eat food. But then the plant died and fell, probably into water and decayed into peat , and the peat was folded inside the earth for years upon years - eons in which something like a month or a decade of even your whole life was just a puff of air  a snap of two fingers. And eventually the peat dried and because like stone, and someone dug it up , and the coalman brought it to your house and maybe you yourself carried it to the stove, and now that sunlight - sunlight one hundred million years old, is heating your home tonight - pg 48 .

how children, does the brain, which lives without a spark of light , build for us a world full of light ? - pg 48

he understands he ought to resent them, but he admires their competence and manners. The clean efficiency with which they move - pg 165

his love for his daughter would outstrip the limits of his body - pg 189.

'Arctic terns, Werner , they fly from south pole to the north pole  , true navigators of the globe ' - pg 184

Some people are weak is some ways. Others in other ways - pg 193

To raise one's hope is to risk their falling further - pg 207.

'your problem Werner , is that you still believe you still believe you own your life' - pg 223.
(Fredrick to Werner).

his breath smells like crushed insects - pg 261
(an analogy that I liked in the book :) )

every rumor carries with it   a seed of truth - pg 268.

Don't you want to be alive before you die - pg 270.

'isnt life a kind of corruption ?  A child is born, and  the world sets upon it . Taking things from it , stuffing things into it. Each bit of food, each particle of light entering the eye -- the body can never be pure' - pg 276.

if God wants us to see something, we will see it - pg 292.

Don't you ever get tired of believing Madame? Don't you want proof - pg 292

In the candlelight she looks for another world, her face all freckles , and in the centre of the freckles these two eyes hand unmoving like the egg cases of spiders ... they see almost to see into a seperate , deeper place , a world that consists only of music - pg 333
(Describing Marie Laurie as she listens to music) .

A scientists work is determined by two things, his interests and those of his time - pg 348

Silence is the fruit of occupation - pg 348

Time is a slippery thing; lose hold of it once an its string might sail out of your hands forever - pg 376.

We all come into existence as a single cell, smaller than a speck of dust. Much smaller. Divide. Multiply. Add and subtract. Matter changes hands, atoms flow in and out, molecules pivot, proteins stitch together, mitochondria send out their oxidative dictates; we begin as a microscopic electrical swarm. The lungs the brain the heart. Forty weeks later, six trillion cells get crushed in the vise of our mother’s birth canal and we howl. Then the world starts in on us - pg 468.

"But it is not bravery; I have no choice. I wake up and live my life. Don’t you do the same?”
"Not in years. But today, Today may be I did'
   - Marie Clarie and Werner replying after killing Von Rumpell. - pg 471.

'That peach slithers down his throat like rapture . A sun rise in his mouth'
(Loved this quote. Werner having food ( peaches from a can ) from Marie. Their first and only encounter for a few hours , before they part ways.)

it is embarrassingly plain how inadequate language is. Some griefs can never be put right - pg 503.


Some other quotes: 
"All your life you wait, and then it finally comes, and are you ready?”

“Why else do any of this if not to become who we want to be?”

An earnest life

Whatever I have tried to do in my life,
I have tried with all my heart to do it well;
Whatever I have devoted myself to,
I have devoted myself completely;
In great aims and in small,
I have been always thoroughly in earnest.

   -Charles Dickens.

The Obelisk Gate - NK Jemisin.

 

Something of her is warped out of time by this movement and from now on all her acts of affection towards her father will be calculated, performative ..Her childhood dies .. but that is better than all of her dying, she knows.

When you make some of your choices in the future, some of them come with a terrible price tag.Although ,sometimes, that price is woth paying - pg 104.

he learns around this time that original purposes cannot be perverted easily - pg 176

Never again can he forget that he is not and has never been human - pg 177

 but what good is power if it comes with a spiked leash - pg 272

he is what he is , but she needs to know why he is the way he is - pg 273.

if she hurts him because she loves him, is that still hurth ? if she hurts him a lot now so that he will hurt less later ,does that make here a terrible person ? Is that not how love is supposed to work? - pg 305,306.

My first Ultra-marathon - The TUM 2020.

 "The very basic core of a man's living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences " 

- Jon Krakauer, Into the Wild  

The WHY : 
The interest to run an ultra marathon was kindled even before I did my first Full Marathon. 
A key influence was a short film called 'THE WHY'. A poetic first person account of the journey of an ultra marathoner as he runs a 100miles ultra marathon. (highly recommended watch).

The second influence was my running buddy Suren . If hill runs and ultras are in your bucket list then Suren is the best company you could wish for 😊

So when Suren registered for the Tata Ultra Marathon, I had little choice but to tag with him and test the waters on hill runs.

The HOW:
As this race was only a month after TMM there wasn't much to prepare for the race (or so I thought) But coach Siva did not want us to take things easy . He shared a plan with easy runs mixed with long runs on rolling hills. (This coach has a plan for everything 😎 )

The goal was just to explore and finish the race strong within the cut-off time injuries/cramps. So we took the practice runs a bit easy and did not fret much when the some runs were missed. Also the training runs were  more about maintaining rhythm and consistent pace in all terrains and experimenting with various pre -post and in-race nutrition.

A dilemma: 
The TUM had 2 categories. A 35KM Challenge run that is suited for someone who has done a half marathon to attempt something higher than 21K but less than 42k and then the 50KM, which is technically an 'ultra' marathon as it is above FM distance of 42K.

For various reasons, I had only registered for the Challenge run. I did not want to attempt a 50K so soon. But as the days progressed, I was having second thoughts  to make best of the opportunity to attempt a 50KM.

35K is a respectable distance but somehow it becomes a trivial distance when you are in the company of folks opting higher distances.(aka peer pressure  😏) .

A nudge from Sudhakar:  
It was Sudhakar who finally coaxed me to upgrade to the 50K category. I was fortunate to get my race category upgraded to 50K without my scrutiny or opposition.

Registering to 50K brought my focus back on the race .Besides, the race committee announced that the cut-off for a finisher medal is 5:20 hours at the 40K mark .

On normal courses, the 5:20 hours would be a safe time to complete the 40K but we felt the time could be bit aggressive for hill runs.

Pre-race preparation: 
Just as with TMM, went for conservative food that is carb-heavy and bland for the big day tomorrow.

As the race start was at 2:30 AM , we knew sleep time will have to be managed well. Had a brief afternoon nap  followed by a very early dinner of Pasta and sign off by 8:00
(Should really thank Suren for planning things to the T)

  "you got the how, you got the why , the only thing you got to do is get across that finish line"

Race day: 
Ultra running is relatively nascent in India . But the past few years have seen some sort  on an explosion in this category. 
The TUM is only in its third year, but it saw a 70% increase from last year including a healthy participation from women.
The race is used by many as a rehearsal for the Comrades marathon. In fact, one veteran runner who paced the 4:30 bus at TMM 2020 was offering help for anyone who wants to used this as practice run for the Comrades and complete the 50K in 6 hours.

Nutrition: 
I stuck to my TMM plan for race course nutrition. Had one banana 60 minutes before the race. And started sipping water laced with rock-salt .
Just like in the TMM, I did not want to take any gel. My plan was to keep myself energized with food items from the SAG and also the dates+ rock-salt combo that I had used with great success at TMM.

Elevation Profile of the race.

0-30K  - A steady start: 
As the race started, Suren and I chugged along at a very conservative pace of around 6:10 . The first step uphill started at the 6K mark and continued until the 9K mark.
At 100m it was once of the steepest in the entire route. The  pristine night sky at the hill top was impressive. The next few kilometers had mild rolling elevation where I held my pace to take the U turn at Amby Valley (23km mark) to retrace the path for another 9 km .

The loop back was a sight to behold with runners marching forward in pitch dark roads with the head lamps.

Wonderful SAG and accurate directions : 
The TUM was not a UTMB certified run (as it was mostly road) so  it did not have the strict criteria for frequency of en-route SAG.
We had water stations every 2.5K and refreshments at every 5km. The organizers had done a good job of manning all the support stations and also arranging good
SAG material. We had people cheering us in the  middle of the forest patch at an unearthly hour of 2-4 am. I made it a point to thank the support staff at each station.
I also liked the mile markers that were kept at each kilometer and also the UH (UpHill) and DH(DownHill) markings thought the course . It helped us anticipate what is coming , especially at the last 10K stretch.


31- 42K : Dense forest, scary roads and a steep descent:  
I reached the 31K mark at a respectable 3:14mins and was pretty comfortable with my overall energy levels.   By now, I was confident that I could cross the 40K mark before the 5:20 mins cutoff..

At 31K the route took a turn and this route was really dark. I could understand why the head lamp was mandatory for every one (including the 35K)
The roads were bad/non-existent and we were running in the midst of dense forest. I did not want to risk injury or fall so I took it really easy on this patch   this continued until the 35.

By now the sun was out and the visibility was getting better . 35 to 40 was a very steep and dangerous descent. I managed to run very carefully on this step as a slight slip would result in a nasty fall. The knees were OK to take the stress of this downhill . Finally , I crossed the 40K cutoff point at a respectable 4:10 mins.

42-50K :  Where the mind played its game.
I took a pause as I was now confident of the finisher medal. crossed the FM mark at 4:24mins . And marched into the  final kilo meters.

Of all the phases this was the section I am not very proud of. Although this is the first time my body is getting used to a distance greater than 42K, thanks to the downhills, I had a lot of energy left with me. It was my mind that started to play games .
I started taking frequent breaks and this broke my rhythm. Adding to it  I knew about the 2 steep uphills that are coming up . (Sometimes too much information becomes a disadvantage  :) ).

My run deteriorated into run-walk-run and run-walk-walk-walk-run patterns . 48-49.5 was the worst stretch where I was just not able to bring it myself to jog.
It was a relief when I saw that the lat 500 m was a downhill . The drum beats and the cymbals pumped me up . I picked up some pace and finally after running for 5 hours and 18 minutes
I crossed the finished line.

Mission accomplished .. I run a 50Kms and returned back in one piece!!

Postscript:
Thanks to my coach Siva's strength sessions, I was able to complete the race without cramps or any injury. The uphill and downhill running tips from Siva and Shruti helped me.

My thanks to Hrishitha for her practical advise on managing the race. She has a plan for every possibility..a walking encyclopedia on everything about long distance and endurance running.

Many would dream of great things, but making them real needs focus and disciplined practice . Thanks to Suren and Veera, my running buddies  ..  they helped me with the discipline to stick with the training plan without any misses.

Thank you Sudhakar for making me take a leap of faith and register for the 50K . You made this run a memory to cherish for a long time.