The Fifth Season

Loved this book. Especially  the writing.
Some of my favorite quotes from the book. 

"For all those who have to fight for the respect that everyone else is given without question" - prologue.

She will pay no attention to the world that is ending outside. The world has already ended within her

there is an art to smiling in a way that others will believe -pg 5

for tonight however, you can manage to be human for a little while - pg 82

"Neither myths not mysteries can hold a candle to the most infinitesimal spark of hope" - pg 276

"who misses what they have never,ever even imagined ?"

"words make things real in a way even memories cannot" - pg 447

Happy 10th birthday Jaishan.

Gosh it is already 10 years !! A decade . How time flies.
Have a great day and wonderful life ahead Jaishan!!

Coincidentally you featured in a news item today  - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Y-8ZO2wZLk&feature=youtu.be

 May you find joy and excitement all your life like in the picture above .. God bless you !

AHM 2019 My First Full Marathon

Although fitness was my passion for many years, the thought of doing long distance running was triggered by the memoir of my favorite author in English. This book showed me that running need not be only for fitness, and it could be much more - a way of life and long distance running takes us into a  meditative experience that few other activities could match. Since then, completing a marathon was firmly in the bucket list.

 So, as I crossed the finish line of my first official full marathon, I felt sense of relief, accomplishment and pride .But the overwhelming emotion was gratitude for the many that helped me realize a long time dream.

My mentors: 
 To begin with , my heartfelt thanks to 'Running Yogi' SivaSwaroop , for his excellent training plan and those wonderful strength sessions. I have not trained so meticulously for anything like this since my 10+2 board exams. And the results speak for themselves. I made great improvements in my fitness levels (RestingHR, VO2max , StridesPerMinute etc come to my mind). Thanks a lot Siva!!

  Thanks to Dinesh Mashetti, Kiranmai , Sindhuja and Prathibha garu from Anahata YogaZone for the wonderful Yoga sessions. You are the best in town for yoga and your guidance helped me with my strength  and endurance and most importantly the way I breathe .

  Special thanks to Shruthi Desai from Panacea Physiotherapy .As I was training hard, during the peak season (June 2019), got a knee injury and had almost decided to give up . But your timely help with the problem and advise helped me recover in record time!! You gave me the confidence to stay on the plan and not give-up. It really worked. Thank you very much Shruti!


Running buddies: 






















 My thanks to my running partners Suren, Veera, Hrishshitha, Hanimi, Sathish Gantireddy, Ravishankar , Leena Roy , Raju Datla. For most in this group this was a debut FM and we tagged along well learning and improving ourselves through this journey. Feeling blessed to have found this group of friends and finish my debut with this wonderful bunch of people.


Community: 
 They say that it takes a village to raise a child. I would say that it is true for running.The running child in me grew by the support of many.
  My thanks to BHEL ACE Runners, a passionate running community that trains inside the BHEL Campus of Hyderabad. This is a very focused, highly energetic (borderline crazy :)) running group. In a span of 1 year, I've made many good friends..the camaraderie that I developed with many here is so special ..a gift I would cherish for a long time. Thank you Mahender and Biswa for introducing me to this community . Would also like to thank  Sudhakar, Satish Sirimalla, who helped me get familiar with the group in those early days.
 And then of-course to HR. Hyderabad Runners. The best running community that a city can ask for. Thanks to Rajesh V , Ravi Nair and Manoj Singh sir  and all who are associated with this group continuing to inspire thousands of people into running a fit life. HR rocks!!

Family : 

I will end this post with a note of gratitude to my family. To Akka, who always believes and motivates me to achieve great things. When I had my doubts after my (minor) injury, she said 'you will do it Sujai. I have no doubts on that' and watching my splits on the live tracking site from the other side of the Atlantic !!  Akka- your belief and  good wishes keep me going wherever I am.

To my wife and son for all the support at home for the past 8 months. Training for a marathon means many long runs and tired 'rest of the day' especially the weekends. But my wife and kid were quite supportive of my goal ..

To Daddy and Mummy ..my super heroes and my superpowers. The people who come to your mind and look for strength at the 40th km. They are with me ALWAYS. Thank you Daddy and Mummy !! When you are around me anything is possible !!

Lastly , to The Almighty whose will , we all execute!!

Stranger Things 3 - Letter from Hopper to El

Loved this letter that Hopper wrote to his daughter El about growing up.

Note to self .
" I don't want things to change. So I think maybe that's why I came in here, to try and make stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were. But I know that's naive. It's just not how life works. It's moving, always moving, whether you like it or not. " 

>>>>>>>>>

There's something I've been wanting to talk to you both about. I know this is a difficult conversation, but I care about you both very much. And I know that you care about each other very much, and that's why it's important that we set these boundaries moving forward so we can build an environment where we all feel comfortable, trusted, and open to sharing our feelings.

Feelings.

Feelings.

Jesus. The truth is, for so long I'd forgotten what those even were. I've been stuck in one place. In a cave, you might say. A deep, dark cave. And then I left some Eggos out in the woods and you came into my life. For the first time in a long time, I started to feel things again. I started to feel happy. But lately, I guess I've been feeling distant from you. Like you're pulling away from me or something. I miss playing board games every night, making triple decker Eggo extravaganzas at sunrise, watching Westerns together before we doze off.

But I know you're getting older, growing, changing. I guess, if I'm being really honest, that's what scares me. I don't want things to change. So I think maybe that's why I came in here, to try and make stop that change. To turn back the clock. To make things go back to how they were. But I know that's naive. It's just not how life works. It's moving, always moving, whether you like it or not. And yeah, sometimes it's painful. Sometimes it's sad. And sometimes, it's surprising. Happy.

So you know what? Keep on growing up kid. Don't let me stop you. Make mistakes, learn from 'em. When life hurts you, because it will, remember the hurt. The hurt is good. It means you're out of that cave. But, please, if you don't mind, for the sake of your poor old dad, keep the door open three inches.

FLOW - Mihaly Csikszentnihalyi

Daniel Kahneman's popular book Thinking Fast and Slow introduced me to this book. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi  has done extensive study on what he has defined as 'FLOW' state . A state at which humans perform optimally .I am sure many of us would have experienced this state .Some days  while doing some tasks ,we seem to forget the notion of time. We do not get tired and everything is 'just right' and we feel happy to stay on this state for long hours without being fatigued.. 

This is a book about happiness and how, a state of FLOW in your daily tasks can help you attain sustained satisfaction and happiness. 

I loved the book a lot and I highly recommend this for anyone interested to sustain a happy and contended state of mind! 

Below are some quotes and passages that I liked a lot. 

>>>>

 The universe is not hostile, not yet it is friendly , it is simplly indifferent - pg 9

 if Christ had returned to preach his message of liberation in the middle ages, he would have been criticized again and again by the leaders of the very church whose worldly power was built on His name - pg 21

The work of a person who is in control of his consciousness is the ability to focus attention at will , to be oblivious to distractions , to concentrate for as long as it to achieve a goal and not longer - pg 31.

The shape and control of life depends on how attention has been used.Entirely different realities will emerge based on how it is invested - pg 33

A man possesses nothing certainly save a brief loan of his own body . Yet the body of man is capable of much curious pleasure - pg 94

enjoyment , as we have seen does not depend on what you do but rather how you do it.- pg 99

Romance - the ritual of wooing first developed in the Romance region of Southern France (hence the name) - pg 102

Repression is not the way to virtual. When people restrain themselves out of fear, their lives are by necessity diminished .. Only through freely chosen discipline can life be enjoyed - pg 115.

when bad times befell pygmies of the Ituri forest in Central Africa, they assumed that their misfortune was due to the fact that the benevolent forest which usually provided for all their needs , had accidentally fallen asleep . At that point, the leaders of the tribe would dig up their sacred horns buried underground , and bow them for days and nights on end, in a attempt to wake the forest , thus restoring the good times . - pg 109

it is not unreasonable to regrade yoga as the oldest and the most systematic methods of producing flow experience - pg 106.

Nothing quite like Hatha Yoga has ever been created in the west - pg 104.

Entropy is the natural state of consciousness . A condition that is neither useful nor enjoyable . -pg 119

Having a record of a past can make a great contribution to the quality of life. It frees us from tyranny of the present.

There is one anecdote that is told about him that describes his commitment towards his work.In the 1950's Chandrashekar was staying at Williams Bay , Wisconson, where the main astronomical observatory of the university is located, about 80 miles away from campus.That winter, he was scheduled to teach one advanced seminar on astrophysics. Only two students signed up for it..Chandrashekar was supposed to cancel the seminar, but he did not , and instead he drove back to chicao twice a week , along back country roads to teach the class.  In a few years, the first one and then the later of those two former students won the Nobel prize for physics.

 (on the dedication of S.Chandrashekar, Indian origin Nobel prize winner) - Pg 136.

Breakthroughs in science shall depend primarily on the resources of a single mind - pg 136.

Ideally  the end of extrinsically applied education should be the start of an education that is motivated intrinsically. At that point, the goal of education is no longer to make the grade and earn a diploma and find a good job. Rather it is to understand what is happening around one to develop a personally meaniningful sense of what ones experience is all about - pg 142 (On the true approach to Education).

Stress exists only if we experience it - pg 161.

A true friend is someone who you can occasionaly be crazy with , someone who does not expect us to be always true to form.It is someone who shares our goal of self realization and therefore is wiling to share the risks that any increase in complexity entails . - pg 189.

of all the virtues one can learn , no trait is more useful , more essential for survival , and more likely to improve the quality of life that the ability to transform adversity to enjoyable challenge - pg 200.

Pradoxically , this sense of humility - the recognition that one's goal may have to be subordinated to a greater entity ;and that to scucced , one may have to play by a different set of rules from what one would prefer, is a hallmark of strong people. - pg 204.

(on strong people and humility)

Almost every situation that we encounter in life presents prossibilites for growth - pg 208 .

Runner's knee

What is running life without problems! So finally hit the infamous 'Runners knee'.
Fortunately this is something that can be fixed ...

Some exercises for my own reference:

In order to prevent runner’s knee, add these exercises to your training routine.

Hip Strengtheners

Side leg lift  - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9oGUwrTh7Cs
Fire hydrant - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La3xYT8MGks
Glute bridge - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8bbE64NuDTU
Clamshell - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EG5_gXcfozw
Bird dog
Hip abduction
Hip Mobility

Leg swing
Foam roll
Low lunge
Hip-flexor stretch
Lateral hip stretch
Quad Strengtheners

Straight leg raise
Single leg squat
Side lunge

TMM 2019

My first experience with India's largest and most famous marathon .

Was pleasantly surprised to hit my first sub-2 . A memory to cherish for a long time. 

At the finish line!

H is for Hawk - a memoir

The cure for loneliness is solitude   - Marianne Moore

I wanted to cut loose from the world ...a desire to rip away all human softness and leave stranded
in a world of savage ,courteous despair - pg 38

Goshawks are nervous because they live their lives ten times faster than we do - pg 56.

Everything about a hawk is tuned and trained to kill  - pg 83

To train a hawk, you must watch it like a hawk, so you come to understand its moods. Then you gain the ability to predict what it will do next ..eventually you don't see the hawk at all. YOu seem to feel what is feels , Notice what is notices . The hawks apprehension becomes your own - pg 86

She made herself disappear, and then in the birts she watched, took flight ...as the days passed in the dark room, my humanity was burning away. - pg 86.

There is a superstition among falconers than a hawks ability is inversely proportional to the ferocity of its name - pg 89.

We carry the lives we've imagined as we carry the lives we have, and sometimes a reckoning comes of all the lives we have lost - pg 124. 

Being an expert  opens you to judgement. Success is pressure . He quite cannot bear it. -pg 147.

'repetition compulsion'  - psychological term. .
  The need to reenact painful experiences in order to master them - pg 162.

There is a time in life when you expect the world to be always full of new things. And then comes a day when you realize that is not how it will be at all. You see that life will become a thing made of holes. Absences. Losses. Things that were there and are no longer. And you realize, too, that you have to grow around and between the gaps  - pg 171.


"Love seeketh not Itself to please,
 Nor for itself hath any care;
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a Heaven in Hells despair  "
    - Blake (also in pg 174)

Educated

There is a sense of sovereignty that comes form life on a mountain , a perception of privacy and isolation, even of dominion ...it calms with its very magnitude, which renders the merely human of no consequence - pg 33

In the reality that she constructed nothing had been wrong - pg 153

I understood that no future could hold them ; no destiny could tolerate both him and her . I would remain a child, in perpetuity, always , or i would lose him. -pg 155
 (About reconciling and living with her father).

I had realized that we have lent our voices to a discourse, whose sole purpose was to dehumanize and brutalize others..because nurturing that discourse was  easier, because retaining power always feels like the way forward.  - pg 210
  (On racism and discrimination in America).

never again would I allow myself to be made a foot soldier in a conflict that I did not understand.
 -pg 211
(Westover understands what it means to be called a 'nigger' at college and begins to hate it ).

To admit uncertainty is to admit to weakness, to powerlessness, and to believe in yourself despite both. It is a frailty , but in this frailty there is strength; the conviction to live in your own mind and not in someone else's - pg 228

my life was narrated to me by others. Their voices were forceful , emphatic , absolute. It had never occurred to me that my voice might be as strong as theirs - pg 229

Its strange how you give the people you love so much power over you - pg 232.

God will provide either trials for growth or the means to succeed.  - pr 233.
 (A journal entry in the book).

I began to experience the most powerful advantage of money. The ability to think of things besides money - pg 240.

** you are not fools gold, shining only under a particular light. Whoever you become, whatever you make yourself into , that is who you always were. It is always in you. Not in Cambridge . In 'you'  'You are gold'. And returning to BYU or even that mountain that you come form , will not change who you are . It may change how others see you .It may even change how you see yourself...even gold may appear dull in some lighting, but that is an illusion. ** 
 - pg 280 (Dr. Kerry to Tara who was facing low confidence/impostor syndrome)

“The most powerful determinant of who you are is inside you," he said. "Professor Steinberg says this is Pygmalion. Think of the story, Tara."
He paused, his eyes fierce, his voice piercing. "She was just a cockney in a nice dress. Until she believed in herself. Then it didn't matter what dress she wore" . - pg 281.

'This is the north cluster' the porter said.It is here that Newton stamped his foot to measure echo, calculating the speed of sound for the first time.  

 (Experience getting into Trinity College london for the first time - pg. 295).

..sometimes I think we choose our illnesses because they benefit us in some ways . - pg 312.

'The future could be different from the past. Even the past could be different from the past  , because ..memories could change ' - pg 314.

But vindication has now power over guilt. No amount of anger or range directed at others can subdue it, because guilt is never about others. Guilt is the featur of ones own wretchedness  It has nothing to do with  other people. 

what has come between me and my father is more than time and distance. It is a change in self -pg 376.

I am not the child my father raised. But he is the father who raised her. - pg 376.

Educated by Tara Westover -- Great writing. A moving account of an author and he struggles in overcoming huge distractions from getting an Education. I loved reading it.'